Skip to content

Why is my child refusing to go to school?

These anxieties can stem from a number of things such as:

  • Mental health issues such as anxiety - in particular separation anxiety.
  • Trauma
  • Low self-esteem
  • Bullying
  • The environment itself
  • Autism spectrum disorders (ASD)

School refusal can happen at any stage, however mostly occurs when children start school or transition into secondary school.

What can I do to help?

There are plenty of options available to help you if you think your child might be experiencing school refusal.

Speak to your school

  • Talk to a teacher or the mental health lead at school and work with them around the issue. It's important to maintain a good relationship with them during this time. They can help agree on things the school can do such as arranging flexible start times to avoid the morning rush.
  • If you have concerns about bullying, speak to the school about their anti-bullying policy.
  • Speak to your school and ask them to assess your child if you think there may be an unidentified SEND need causing the anxiety.
  • You'll need to work with the school to help your child - particularly with any support plans they put in place.

Find help online

  • Healthy Young Minds in Herts have advice on what to do if you're worried as well as tips for talking to children and young people about their anxiety and mental health.
  • MindEd provides free educational resources for parents and carers who might be worried about the mental health of their child.
  • Young Minds have a dedicated section with tips and advice for parents on school anxiety.
  • Family lives offer parenting and family support with a helpline and online forum.
  • No Panic offers information and advice on children's anxieties, school phobia and treatment for overcoming school phobia.
  • The Sandbox is an NHS-funded service to support children and young people with their mental health and wellbeing.
  • Just Talk Herts is a campaign run by multiple agencies in Hertfordshire that is encouraging young people to talk about their mental health. They have lots of useful resources for young people and schools too.

Who can support me?

You should start by speaking to your GP. They might be able to refer you to services such as CAMHS or PALMS.

Educational psychologists (EPs)

Educational Psychologists provide support to schools to help them meet the needs of children and young people. If your child is unable to attend school, their school is responsible for organising support for this from the EP team.

Mental health services

CYPMHS (Child and young people's mental health services) works with children and young people who have difficulties with their emotional wellbeing or mental health difficulties.

PALMS (Positive behaviour, Autism, Learning Disability and Mental health Service) helps children and young people aged 0-19 who have a learning disability and/or Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

Local Authority Attendance Officers

Local Authority Attendance Officers (LAAO) meet with both parents and pupils in order to try and reduce unnecessary absence and remind parents of their legal responsibilities.

It's natural to be concerned if your case gets referred to a  LAAO, however they can work in partnership with you and the school. They can make suggestions like having you stay with your child until they've settled in class.

Attendance team

Schools may make a referral to the attendance team if attendance is below 80% and the majority of absences are unauthorised. However you can contact them for support too.

ESMA

The Education Support for Medical Absence (ESMA) team support pupils who have had, or are expecting to have, significant time off school due to a physical or mental health condition. Their aim is to help children continue their education around their needs and work towards getting them back into school life.

Independent organisations who can help

Provide impartial and confidential information, advice and support to parents and carers of children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND)

NFIS aims to support children and their families struggling with school attendance, and raise awareness of their experiences.

Hertfordshire based support and advice for parents, carers and kids from the NHS

Hertfordshire based support and advice for teens from the NHS

Page was last updated on: 19/09/2023 14:56:03

Cookies

Like many other websites, we place small information files called 'cookies' on your computer.

Why do we use cookies?

To remember your settings, for example your language and location. This means you don’t have to keep entering these details when you visit a new page.

To find out how you use the site to help us update and improve it.

How do I change my cookie settings?

You can change the settings of your web browser so that it won’t accept cookies. For more information visit AboutCookies.org.

But, doing this may stop you from using some of the online features and services on this website. 

Cookies we use

Cookies do a lot of different jobs, and we use 2 types of cookies:

Required functionality cookies – these cookies are essential for the website to work.

Performance and feature cookies – these cookies help to improve the performance and feel of this website, for example providing you with personalised services.


Take a look at a list of cookies we use on our website:

NameTypeHow we use itHow long we use the information for

ASP.Net_Sessions

 

Required functionality

An automatic cookie set by our software. 

Just for the time you are on our website.

ServerID

 

Required functionality

An automatic cookie set by our software. 

Just for the time you are on our website.

_ga

Required functionality

To track the effectiveness of our website using Google Analytics. 

2 years

saved-pages

Performance and feature

To save the pages that you visit by clicking the heart at the top of the page. 

1 month

geoPostcode

Performance and feature

This stores your postcode (or partial postcode) when we ask you for your location.

Just for the time you are on our website or 30 days (you choose this).

geoCoordinates

Performance and feature

This stores your location as a pair of latitude / longitude coordinates.

Just for the time you are on our website or 30 days (you choose this).

reckonerName-history

Performance and feature

This keeps a history of all answers submitted to the ready reckoner.

This is set in the control for each ready reckoner. If you haven't interacted with the ready reckoner for the set amount of days, the cookies are deleted.

reckonerName-content

Performance and feature

This keeps a history of what content cards are clicked on when using the ready reckoner.

This is set in the control for each ready reckoner. If you haven't interacted with the ready reckoner for the set amount of days, the cookies are deleted.

SQ_SYSTEM_SESSION

Required functionality

This used to track user sessions on forms hosted on eservices.hertfordshire.gov.uk

Just for the time you are on our website.


Third party cookies

There are links and content from other sites and services on our website. These sites and services set their own cookies.

Below are a list of cookies that the other sites and services use:

Service namePurposeMore information

Google analytics (_utma/b/c/z)

These are used to compile reports for us on how people use this site.

Cookies of the same names are also used for the same purpose by other websites such as Building FuturesCountryside Management Service and Hertfordshire LIS.

Visit the Google Analytics website for more information about the cookies they use.

You can prevent data from being collected and used by Google Analytics by installing Google's Opt-out Browser Add-on.

Google Translation - googtrans

This cookie is used to remember which language to translate each page into if you have chosen to do so.

It expires at the end of your browser session.

Bing

We use a Bing cookie to track the success of our marketing campaigns and make them more efficient.

Visit Bing to find out more about their cookies.

Google

We use a Google cookie to track the success of our marketing campaigns and make them more efficient.

Visit Google to find out more about their cookies.

Facebook

We have a number of presences on Facebook, which we may link to. Facebook may set some of its own cookies if you follow these links.

Visit Facebook to find out more about their cookies.

Twitter

We have a number of presences and feeds on Twitter, which you may wish to follow or read from this website. Twitter may set some of its own cookies.

Visit Twitter to find out more about their cookies.

YouTube

We have a YouTube channel, which we may link to. YouTube may set some of its own cookies if you follow those links.

Visit YouTube to find out more about their cookies.

Netloan

This ASP.NET_Sessionid cookie is essential for the Netloan secure online payments website to work, and is set when you arrive to the site. This cookie is deleted when you close your browser.

 

HotJar

This session cookie is set to let Hotjar know whether that visitor is included in the sample which is used to generate funnels.

Visit HotJar to find out more about their cookies.

Siteimprove

These cookies are set to help us report on how people are using the site so we can improve it.

Visit Siteimprove to learn more about their cookies.