Parent relationship support - Information for professionals

Children can be negatively affected where conflict between their parents is frequent, intense and poorly resolved.

But, we can make a difference. Where parents are supported to improve their relationship, they are often able to make positive changes that benefit their children.

• What is parental conflict?
• What can cause conflict for parents?
• What is the impact of parental conflict on children?
• How to support parents and carers in conflict
• Training opportunities for professionals

What is parental conflict?

Parental conflict is defined as a situation when arguments and disagreements between parents are frequent, intense and poorly resolved.

In a healthy relationship:

• both sides can get their points across without adverse consequences or ongoing animosity between parents after the argument is over and family life can reconvene.
• one parent is not using power to control the other
• neither parent is fearful of the other

The quality of inter-parental relationships, specifically how parents communicate and relate to each other, is increasingly recognised as a primary influence on effective parenting practices and children’s future life chances, including attainment and employment.

Reducing Parental Conflict: what is parental conflict? - GOV.UK

What can cause conflict for parents?

• Mental health difficulties
• Differing opinions
• Poor communication
• Different styles of parenting
• Worries about finances and debt
• A change in family circumstances (e.g. new baby, house move, change in job)
• Neuro diversity
• Opposing beliefs
• Uncertainty around a child being neuro divergent
• Worried about being judged by others
• Separation and co-parenting 

What is the impact of parental conflict on children?

High levels of parental conflict can:

• Place children at a greater risk of developing emotional, social, and behavioural problems.
• Frequent and intense conflict or fighting between parents also has a negative impact on children’s sense of safety and security, which affects their relationships with their parents and with others.
• Cause them difficulties with concentration and educational achievement.
• Parental conflict that specifically focuses on issues related to children is also linked to adjustment problems, particularly when it causes children to blame themselves for their parents’ problems.

You can find more information and evidence about parental conflict on the Reducing Parental Conflict Hub - Foundations.

How to support parents and carers in conflict

Talk about relationships with all parents you’re in contact with, use motivational interviewing and active listening techniques to explore whether they may be experiencing relationship conflict or domestic violence and abuse.

• Use this quick guide (PDF 474Kb)  to help you identify the level of needs of the parents you are working with and what type of support may be suitable for them.
• Use this parental conflict toolkit to help professionals identify parental conflict and provide support, resources and signposting to improve communication, relationships and childhood outcomes.
• Watch this video for six key tips for talking with families about parental conflict or read this guide
• Watch this short video about spotting the difference between parental conflict and domestic abuse.
• Use this Hertfordshire Parental Conflict Screening Tool in recognising the difference between parental conflict and domestic abuse.

Training opportunities for professionals

eLearning Module:

• For HCC staff follow this link: Course: Recognising and Supporting Parents in Parental Conflict eLearning Module
• For all other partners you can access the training for FREE via HSCP e-learn training: HSAB and HSCP training and resources | Hertfordshire County Council

• Attend the Families First Induction Sessions for an overview presentation email Families First Support to be added to the next induction session FamiliesFirst.Support@hertfordshire.gov.uk
• Access OnePlusOne Getting on Better e-learning

Getting on Better e-learning is a self-guided online course for practitioners working with parents and families.  It is designed to help you feel more confident in supporting parents to improve their relationships, and to familiarise you with the Getting on Better resources.  

There are 4 modules to complete each module will take approximately 45 minutes and can be completed at your own pace. You will have 3 months to complete the modules.‍

The modules will cover:

Module 1: The impact of parental conflict.

In this module you will learn about the evidence base behind the resources and gain a deeper understanding of the impact of parental conflict.

Module 2: Recognising domestic abuse.

The Getting on Better package is not suitable for families where domestic abuse is a factor. In this module you will learn to recognise the difference between domestic abuse and parental conflict, spot the signs and risks, and take appropriate steps.

Module 3: Introduction to the Getting on Better package.

Here you’ll learn about the resources in the Getting on Better package. You’ll also have a chance to explore the parent interventions for yourself.

Module 4: Building your confidence.

In this module you will learn how to discuss relationships with parents, as well as the best ways to apply the Getting on Better resources to real-life situations to create learning moments.  

How to access: Please complete the OnePlusOne Getting on Better e-learning training request form

This training is FREE to organisations supporting families in Hertfordshire if you are unsure if your organisation qualifies for access please contact CSStrategic.Partnerships@hertfordshire.gov.uk