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Talking about behaviour

Published 9 March 2023

Over 6 months we worked with families and professionals to review our 'areas of need' pages on the Local Offer - we delved into the detail of these pages to make sure that they have all the information you need. 

Following a request for feedback on our 'Behaviours that Challenge' page, a parent from ADD-Vance got in touch to suggest we talk about ways in which we could improve the way we communicate to families.  

Our meeting with Karen led to a really important and enlightening discussion about the sensitivities on this topic, as well as about the language we use and the effect it can have on our readers - many of whom will have special educational needs themselves. 

The topic of behaviour is a tricky one.  Caring for a child or young person with a higher level of need in this area can be difficult and exhausting, and parents can feel isolated and judged by onlookers who are confused by their child's behaviour. There are many different reasons why a child or young person might be showing distressed behaviour and it is often a way of communicating an unmet need. By talking to Karen we gained some really important insight about the underlying causes around some of the behaviour shown by children with unmet needs, and the need to choose our language carefully when writing about this subject. 

"The starting point is always empathy, and seeing their behaviour as communication of a strong emotion, rather than an attempt to confuse others".  

-  Karen Hannan, NeuMinKind

Listening to Karen's experiences was a really good reminder that, when we write content for the Local Offer, we need to put the child or young person's experience at the centre of everything. For example, by using words such as 'problem' and 'aggressive' we might be unintentionally implying that the child is at fault - when in fact, the responsibility should be with the adult to try and understand the reasons behind the behaviour (whether this is distress, trauma, or sensory issues).

Parents who are neurodivergent themselves have often experienced these distressed behaviours first-hand, and therefore understand more clearly the behaviours of their child.  This means that they can communicate to us what distressed behaviours are really all about.  They want to see language that shows this empathy and understanding towards their child.

We were reminded by Karen of the need to write for a neurodivergent community.  For example, Autistic readers will often be very literal in their understanding, so we need to avoid the use of metaphors. This means being careful about our choice of language, making sure that it is clear and cannot be misinterpreted.

We are always learning and we have most to learn from the communities of parents and carers who use the Local Offer. We are committed to always working with the families to co-produce our content, and improve the way we write for the families - making sure the language we use is always sensitive and inclusive.

Have your say

As always, we would really welcome your thoughts. 

If you have comments or suggestions about this new page, or any other aspect of the website, we would like to hear from you.

localoffer@hertfordshire.gov.uk